It was not an age like ours!
She was 21, a beauty but single, hence, not qualified for the “Lucky Girls” crew. She had it all but not a man and to her generation, that was most important. Before she clocked 22, she met him. Tall, handsome and with a caramel coated skin. All she ever wished for was right in front of her asking for her hand in marriage. Her parents were friends with his parents. Of course, in a New York time, the union was stamped and sealed by her parents. It was right to go ahead with the marriage plan, asides the parents’ blessings, this was a great opportunity to shield herself from the societal pressure. Staring into his dreamy brown eyes and listening to his polished English as he speaks of his London experience, she thought; “Is this what I want?” Something was not just right. She knew it but could not figure it out.
Just like the heart wants what the heart wants, the heart also knows what the heart wants and what the heart does not want.
Her heart doesn’t want him.
“You’ve made your choice, it is your problem now, don’t say you were not warned” her father said. Her mother added; “It is obvious, you want to grow old in your father’s compound.”
Time waits for no man or man waits for no woman, he got married to another damsel. Everyone believed that she has missed out of a lifetime opportunity. It was funny because she never regretted it.
For Eight years, all she heard was her mother’s words to her. It might just be coming to past. She was a real life instance to every girl who said no to a suitor. It was not a good one to be known with but whatever she did was for a good reason which she was solely aware of.
At 29, with academic qualification and a teaching job, she met another, handsome but not tall, smart and the best part was that he was the man after her heart. They exchanged vows and was confirmed man and wife.
Thirty years of marriage and still counting.
Chill joor! The best part of the story is here!!
After thirty eight years, it was obvious that she made the right choice. The first suitor, the “supposed” man of her dream has dissolved his marriage. Or rather, his wife flaunted her running skills, who wouldn’t run for her life? She flew back to her parents, with reports that he panel beats her. Also, he was and is a drug addict!
“Truly successful decision-making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking”. – Malcolm Gladwell
The Dame WANTED all the physical features he has, but she was also aware that she NEEDED more than that. Hence, she acted!
Differentiating right from wrong is not the problem or maybe we make that mistake two, three times but the constant challenge is letting our WANTS supersede our NEEDS.
Remember, you are the Ultimate Decision Maker.