CLOSE OR NEVER
Chilling with young people!
Another thing that excites my inner being asides the unadulterated joy that comes when Manchester United wins a league. Teenagers plus children sum up my definition of young people.
The dictionary will most definitely not agree with my definition, no hard feeling!
One of the million reasons I couldn’t help but work with young people is the fact that their style captures my heart. This style is characterized by Curiosity, Creativity and Intelligence. Don’t expect any negative review on them, I am all about positivity today, coupled with the realistic yet unpopular truth that NO WORD FLIES UNCAGED for them, which means they have an artistic way of reading meanings to words. A good reason to stick to positive.
Last year, I met Bims whose actual name was Abimbola. A lovely fifteen year old girl. We were having a healthy aunty-teen argument when I received my father’s call. After a while, she said; “Auntie Vicky, you are close to your daddy. It reminds me of back then.” I knew she has more to say so I just smiled. It was the only way to stop myself from interrupting. Then she continued; “You know I don’t want to be close to anyone”. That hit me hard, what could have prompted that act. “why won’t you want to be close to anyone?” I asked her. Then, she started.
“I grew up being close to my father but when I was thirteen, he told me he was travelling to the US, I remember telling him not to stay too long, after which he promised me that he would be back after two months. Auntie Vicky, this is the THIRD YEAR!!”
There was more, so I pressed on; “Ah Ah! Madam, what you just told me sounded lighter than your decision to never be close to anyone.” Her next words surprised me “Don’t you get! He promised me and left. Am not even sure if he’s coming next year or in two years time. People disappoint! Why should I be close to anyone when I know that one day they will leave? Why should I be close to anyone when I know they will hurt me? Not like am gaining anything by being close.”
My heart was crushed!
I really provoked her. I needed to continue, hence, I said; “Bims, I know people disappoint, I know people never stay forever and I also know that you love to be close to people but you are afraid of the outcome (watching them leave). But you know we will all leave one day!” I didn’t mean to scare her with the last sentence but that was the bitter truth and she knew. She attested that she draws away from people whenever they seem close, not that she doesn’t enjoy the relationship but because she doesn’t want to be hurt when they leave.
Just like Bims, there are many out there. We wish for a no emotional drama world so much that we forget that we deal with humans. If our expectation which was pushed to action by our desires isn’t attainable, then it becomes a disappointment. However, we unintentionally fail to remember that we are one specie that has Absolute Perfect Imperfections. We promise and fail, we come in and leave, we laugh and cry. Flavia Weedn wasn’t wrong to say; “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.” This is indeed positive, however, it might also be negative, I quote Nessa Nicolee “Some people come in our lives as blessings and some come in our lives as lessons.” Which ever way it comes, something must be gained. Negative may give rise to wisdom (lessons learnt).
Maybe that’s Life.
“Life is not always perfect. Like a road, it has many bends, ups and down, but that’s its beauty.” -Amit Ray
That the road of life isn’t as smooth as we may want it, shouldn’t prevent us from enjoying the gifts of life. The blessings of friendship and love.
Nevertheless, when unsure, do not promise. It is to be kept not broken!